Sushi: In the shortest terms possible:
Sushi: My mom pretty much forced me to state my case for why I should go back to my school next year
Sushi: AFTER making me cry
Sushi: So I wasn't in the right state of mind to be making any sort of argument
Sushi: So I said things that came out the wrong way and that I honestly DIDN'T mean, and she got super pissed
Sushi: And she said I was disrespecting her by pushing the matter and bringing it up.
Sushi: She was the one who FORCED ME to state a case, entirely unprepared. Crying.
Sushi: And everything I said, she called a "sob story" that she's heard a million times before.
Sushi: (We've been having this argument since third grade.)
Sushi: So it's like I'm that little person in between the two walls of spikes, and the walls are moving in for the kill.
Sushi: I could respect her and leave her, having lost the argument and with her saying that I wasn't going to go to Prep, earning respect points but losing reason establishment points
Sushi: OR I could disrespect her and keep arguing my points, but she says if I disrespect her I don't get to go back to Prep.
Sushi: Either way, I don't get to go back to Prep.
Sushi: And I don't know what to say or do anymore to convince her.
Sushi: I have NOTHING
Sushi: Because I already said I'd do whatever she wants
Sushi: But she says that I have to want everything she wants
Sushi: But I DON'T. I'll just do it if it means I get to go back.
Cid: even if you get the financial aid stuff yourself?
Sushi: But she wants me to basically CHANGE MY NATURE, and AGREE with her.
Sushi: She's beyond the financial stuff.
Sushi: It's about me WANTING everything that she wants.
Sushi: But I DON'T.
Sushi: And I don't know how to change that.
Cid: that really sucks
Sushi: I honestly just DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO anymore.
Sushi: Like, I am LITERALLY at a loss.
Sushi: Because nothing I do will change her mind.
Sushi: And I mean, there has to be SOMETHING to change her mind
Sushi: I just don't know what it IS.
Sushi: Because she's not listening to reason, either.
Sushi: Reason is that if I don't go back to Tae Kwan Do and take mandarin this summer, I auto don't go back because my mom thinks that means I don't know how to "package" myself for colleges
Sushi: But I already have a good HANDFULL of nice looking things for college just by going back to Prep next year.
Sushi: A. Editor of Folio (Arts/Lit magazine of my school)
Sushi: B. Editor of Arts/Entertainment page of school Newspaper
Sushi: C. Manager for Varsity Volleyball and Varsity Basketball.
Sushi: D. Comissioner position for a Key Club event
Sushi: E. Senior Leadership of the Sophomore American Literature class.
Sushi: F. Talent Show MC
Sushi: That's SIX things that I have going for me
Sushi: That I WON'T get if I transfer
Sushi: Because I can't go in the year of and apply for positions
Sushi: It has to be done the year before.
Sushi: And I'm in TWO AP classes, one honors (because they don't offer English AP)...
Sushi: I just don't know what else to do.
Sushi: I just DON'T.
Sushi: I already told her that I will screw over my social life to pull off a 3.75
Sushi: But she's "heard it all before" and just WON'T LISTEN
Sushi: I even said I'd use the money I have in my bank account to pay for my car and insurance, instead of working
Sushi: So I could use the time I'd be working in order to finish out Tae Kwan Do and learn Mandarin
Sushi: So I'm doing EVERYTHING she wants me to do.
Sushi: But she's "not convinced with my sob story".
Sushi: SORRY I WAS CRYING, I'LL TRY TO HOLD BACK NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOU'RE RIPPING ME FROM MY SENIOR YEAR.
Sushi: And I have been the most docile, subservient, agreeable daughter in THE WORLD for the past week.
Sushi: I have done EVERYTHING she's asked me to do without a second thought
Sushi: Even if I didn't agree
Sushi: I did it anyways
Sushi: Because she considers that "respect"
Sushi: And so I've been "respecting" her.
Sushi: Doing ALL my chores. started my summer reading early. everything ahead of time
Cid: how do you live with this shit?
Sushi: Where else do I get the money to go to that school?
Sushi: My dad has no belief in public schools.
Cid: dang
Sushi: Er
Sushi: Private schools
Sushi: He doesn't belive in private schools
Sushi: So he won't pay.
Sushi: I'm doing EVERYTHING SHE WANTS, but it's just not enough.
Sushi: And I don't know what IS enough.
Sushi: And a parent called her and asked for donations, and she bitched him out.
Sushi: And he apparently said some things to talk her down or something
Sushi: And she said she'd "take them into consideration" but she still has no faith in whatever I say so I don't know why I even bother
Sushi: And my fucking principal called her, and she said she was busy and wouldn't talk to him until she'd talked to me
Sushi: Thus her coming home and forcing me to make a case before I was prepared for it
Sushi: And FIRST she tells me that she gave me a week to prepare (I don't know when THAT happened, but hey, what do I know), so I try to come up with something spur of the moment, but THEN she said that I wasn't supposed to bring it up all week, I DIDN'T, and she literally says, and I shit you not
Sushi: "You've been watching TV and playing video games all week. You weren't even thinking about it!!"
Sushi: "But...you told me not to bring it up!! And I didn't!"
Sushi: "No, you were playing video games and watching TV."
Sushi: "That's me not bringing it up."
Sushi: "No, that's you being lazy."
Sushi: WHAT??????????????
Cid: oi
Sushi: So what, was she expecting me to sit in solitary contemplation for a week?
Sushi: I honestly DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO in order to make her fucking HAPPY.
Cid: That's really kind of ludicrous
Sushi: And she always goes on and on about how I call her a "crazy asian mother"
Sushi: And she gets SO pissed off about it, and says that she's SUCH A LIBERAL asain  mother, and how I'd DIE if I had a REAL crazy asian mother.
Sushi: No matter what I say or do, it's never going to be enough for her. It's always going to be the wrong answer.
Cid: I dunno,hon, maybe it's just because I'm used to the freedom of the college life, but I would not take that kind of abuse
Sushi: I have to.
Sushi: She's paying.
Sushi: There is no choice in this.
Cid: That's not what I mean
Sushi: I do what she says and bend to her every freakish whim, or there is no consent to go back, and there is no check.
Sushi: What, like call child services or something?
Cid: no
Sushi: Yeah, I was going to say.
Sushi: Foster parents don't pay those kinds of bills.
Cid: What I'm saying is, if being a submissive dog with your tail between your legs isn't working
Cid: what will it lose you to stand up for yourself
Cid: ?
Sushi: I've spent my ENTIRE LIFE standing up for myself.
Sushi: I've spent my ENTIRE LIFE aruging for what I believe in.
Sushi: And it's never, EVER worked.
Sushi: Because what I call arguing for my beliefs, she calls disrespect.
Cid: respect is a two way street
Sushi: Not to her.
Sushi: I'm the dauther.
Sushi: *daughter
Sushi: She's the mother.
Sushi: She is above me in every sense of the word.
Sushi: I swear to fucking god
Sushi: I got a 99 on my Statistics final.
Sushi: THAT IS ONE POINT AWAY FROM A PERFECT SCORE
Sushi: And she goes "Oh. Good."
Sushi: In such a dismissive tone.
Sushi: Like "Well, obviously. That's what you should've been aiming for all along."
Cid: that is very very frustrating
Sushi: I have never done that well in math
Sushi: EVER
Sushi: IN MY LIFE
Sushi: I'm taking a fucking AP math next year.
Sushi: and an AP history
Sushi: And an Honors English
Sushi: And if UC law let me, I would've taken TWO honors englishes
Sushi: But it's
Sushi: just
Sushi: not
Sushi: enough
Sushi: ever.
Cid: I guess what I'm just trying to figure out is why you can't use financial aid and loans and stuff to pay your own way.  Isn't that, like.... 'taking initiative' or something?
Sushi: Financial aid forms were due TWO MONTHS ago
Sushi: My mom claims she never got them
Sushi: I think she just threw them out because she had no intention of sending me back.
Cid: and you can't appeal for an exception case?
Sushi: I already tried.
Sushi: The money's already been distributed.
Sushi: I don't think you can get a loan until you're 18
Sushi: From a bank, anyways.

In other news, I enjoyed every second of Iron Man. Which is kind of a big deal for me.