You never really realize how much of a wreck your house is until you've been instructed to clean it. I mean, yeah, only one half of my bed could be comfortably reclined on because the other half was a mountain of my Alaska-trip clothes that I didn't bother washing as soon as I got home, but whatever.

Speaking of Alaska, holy shit was that fun. Like, I never thought it WOULDN'T be, but it kind of went and shattered my fun expectations like two hundred times over. Only barely seeing my mom once a day was just an added bonus on top of an already awesome vacation (although I will say that I somehow managed to always get glared at or worse during those scarce moments).

So basically it was a 7 day Alaskan cruise, and I was sharing a stateroom with Poki, easily one of my most entertaining, outspoken, and just plain awesome friends. Because I don't actually FEEL like cleaning anything, I'll write up a little day-by-day thing, more for my amusement than anything else. But first, some profiles:

( The People )

...and...

( The Trip )

The end. Oh God, that took two hours. I have so much cleaning to do. But I figured I'd document that, if only for my own memory. Also, there are pictures. Actually, we have like a thousand more but Poki took them all and I just stole them from the small batch she put up on facebook.

Blaaaaah, senior year starts in three and a half days. Part of me is super excited and the rest of me is beyond scared because I'm doing SO EFFING MUCH. Yeah, just this week I have three meetings: Folio, Newspaper, and Senior Leader stuff. Throw college on top of that and I'm going to basically die. On a fire. Awesomesauce.

Okay, cleaning time. And I apologize for the headache I just gave anyone.

So much for updating once a week. Not that there's anyone who would actually bother habitually keeping up with this mountain of rant that I made, but it's the principle of the thing. But last-minute-tests are last-minute tests, and final projects are final projects, and year end drama is year and drama, and finals are, as I'm sure you can imagine, finals.

I'd like to think that gives me an excuse.

So here's a rant for all of you: My mother pulling me out of school right before my senior year. Or trying to, if I don't fight like all fucking hell for it. Basically we've gone pretty much broke, and my mom doesn't see the purpose in scrounging every last cent of money for one more year if I only maintain a 3.4 average and "continue to disrespect her".

Now, I'll be the first to admit that my school is DISGUSTINGLY expensive. Like, it's on par with some of the lower-end college tuitions. But after three years of attendence it's become my home, and the people there are my family. And the campus, the people, and the experiences make it worth every overpriced dollar we spend on it. That school honestly means absolutely everything to me.

I'll also be the first to admit that I'm not exactly docile and complacent when it comes to my mother. I argue. It's what I do. I learned it from her, for God's sake. But what I consider arguing a point is my mother's idea of extreme disrespect and purposeful rudeness.

Yes, she is Chinese, thank you for asking.

And that's not to say I hate her. I really, REALLY don't, which is a common misconception. I just think that sometimes she crosses the line, takes things the wrong way, etc. I know she's trying to do what's best for me, but when we don't agree my opinion becomes entirely unimportant. We're both the most stubborn people I've ever met, and that doesn't really help our already kind of crappy situation.

Anyways, I realize that my GPA isn't exactly stellar. But you really have to take into consideration that when it comes to academics, my school is a big, scary, STD-riddled jail rapist and I'm a scrawny piece of fresh meat to prey upon. I know when my ass is getting handed to me, and it happens pretty consistantly there. And honestly, I'm one of those people who doesn't hold grades in high priority. I'm not saying this as a cop-out, really. It's not that I CAN'T attain a 3.75 or above. If I actually put in the effort, I know I could. I'm smart, and I won't deny this. However, that doesn't change the fact that I'd rather contemplate a story idea than write out Latin translation, or work doubly hard on edits for Folio, my school's art and literary magazine, instead of doing tedious math problems. So considering who I am and where I got to school, a 3.4 is decent.

Speaking of Folio, I'm supposed to be Editor of Content for the magazine next year. I'm all lined up to be editor of the Arts and Entertainment section of my school newspaper, and I landed a position as commissioner of Love Grams for Key Club. Also, I've committed myself to being Girls Varsity Basketball and Boys Varsity Volleyball manager. There is SO MUCH I've invested myself in next year, and I couldn't bear to have that taken away from me.

So I'm going to fight this. I already went and bawled my eyes out to my school dean (ON MY BIRTHDAY, NO LESS), telling her that I knew that Financial Aid forms were due over two months ago, but my mom had thrown ours away because she'd decided after she'd re-enrolled me that she had no intention of sending me back to my school, so could she please, please, PLEASE help me figure out a way to come back next year?

I have a meeting with my dean and my best friend Martini tomorrow. We're going to brainstorm plans to appease my mother and somehow come up with enough money to send me back. And I hope to God it works, because I honestly can't bear to think of the alternative.

The alternative being the school down my street, where a kid just got shanked and bled to death a few weeks ago. And I mean, in all honesty, I'm the type of person who WOULD get shanked. I know better than anyone else that sometimes I just don't know when to shut my bitchy, sarcastic, opinionated mouth. So that might not be such a good idea. 

If anything, this whole situation is teaching me to be much more independent.

Martini wants to somehow thrust me into the modeling business in hopes that we could both make some extra money, and I've applied for four different jobs. I have no idea if any of them will work out, but I'm trying. Attaining my license has gone from goal to obsession in my brain. I'm opening a checking account on Monday now that I've turned seventeen, and I just got a couple pairs of kind of skanky incredibly cute white  shorts from Reference.

That last bit wasn't really stating any kind of independence, I just really love those shorts. They're fragging adorable.

All things considered, my birthday (6/6) went over rather well. I mean, my mom were I are still defrosting since our blowup fight the night before, but still. And I did cry a whole shitload for like an hour after the final because I freaked out when I talked to my dean about the whole Financial Aid/I Might Not Be Coming Back thing, but still.

One of my best friends, Ireland, sliced a pineapple up into seventen pieces and put a candle in each one instead of getting me a cake. It was quite possibly the cutest, most perfect thing I've ever seen. She also somehow got most of the Senior Patio to sing to me, and I kind of started realizing right then how many amazing friends I have. I mean, I've always known, but still. I was totally embarassed but I truly loved everyone for beint there. One of my other best friends, Cheerleader, dragged me off to Old Town and Paseo where we were adventuring and shopping for four hours (white shorts, anyone? Plus comic books!). KMac is taking me to some surprise thing next Friday. One of my teachers, Frost, told me I got a 99% on my Statistics final.

Yeah, I was shocked too.

Another friend, Sonic, is taking me out for lunch tomorrow to celebrate. My dad gave me five hundred Amazon dollars which I blew on an XBOX 360 and a few games, along with some other clothes and a blue Mario mushroom cell phone charm.

I never realized a birthday could get so noticed until facebook came along. I got like 27 wall-posts telling me happy birthday, some from people who I haven't talked to in three years. I'm not even kidding.

Overall, it was nice.

As of this morning (fucking SAT IIs...), I'm officially free from all testing and stress until this coming September. That's it, I've done it, I'm a senior now. A senior on summer vacation.And I plan to make the most of it. I already have a million and one things to do, starting with a graduation party I'm attending tonight and some good old Fugitive tomorrow night before we have to see Ireland off cause she's leaving to spend six weeks in, well, Ireland. I have train and beach things going on with Martini on the twentieth and the meeting with her and the dean on Monday. My mom's making me go back to Tae Kwan Do for my Black Belt, as well as sending me to some place to learn Mandarin.

I.

NEED.

MY.

LICENSE.

I plan to clean my house extensively and play video games even more extensively. I hope to hold a job at either Cold Stone Creamery, Jamba Juice, Vromans Bookstore, or Barnes and Noble. I'm going on a cruise to Alaska the last week of August with my one of my best friends outside of school, Poki. We get our own state room. Parent-free. I'm going to have to work my ass off this summer to improve my relationship with my mother. Cheerleader and I plan on having at least two nights a month where we say we're sleeping over at each other's houses and instead we'll camp out in her car and party all night.

It's Summer of '08. Let's make it a good one.