Science Geek (7:33:56 PM): fuck no, that'd make me a bigger douche

Science Geek (7:34:11 PM): im fully aware that this is my decision

Science Geek (7:34:17 PM): partially my*

Sushi (7:34:27 PM): Nope, it's pretty much fully your decision.

Sushi (7:34:31 PM): You already have my say in the matter.

Sushi (7:34:40 PM): I want to continue this, whatever the consequence may be on me.

Sushi (7:35:08 PM): Which kind of puts the pressure on you, now that I think about it...

Sushi (7:35:15 PM): O_o Um...sorry"

Sushi (7:35:17 PM): *?

Science Geek (7:35:24 PM): but i don't see how that can work, because every second we would spend doing something i would feel like i was lying to you

Science Geek (7:35:36 PM): wouldnt you feel that way?

Sushi (7:35:50 PM): You can't be lying to me if I'm fully aware of the situation, Science Geek.

Sushi (7:35:57 PM): Like, it is impossible by definition.

Science Geek (7:36:25 PM): yea, but i dont see how you can be ok with that

Sushi (7:36:57 PM): Look, for once I think Lauren has something right.

Sushi (7:37:04 PM): Get what you want.

Sushi (7:37:10 PM): I want this.

Sushi (7:37:37 PM): I want to see if this can possibly work.

Sushi (7:37:43 PM): And if it crashes and burns, it crashes and burns.

Science Geek (7:39:53 PM): blah

Science Geek (7:40:34 PM): in order for it to crash and burn it would need to be moving to begin with, and i don't see how i can do that

Sushi (7:40:43 PM): Okay, fine.

Science Geek (7:40:44 PM): im not sure if im capable of it

Sushi (7:40:49 PM): Stationarily exploding and burning.

Sushi (7:40:51 PM): Whatever.

Sushi (7:41:19 PM): The metaphor is not exactly the important part.

Science Geek (7:41:25 PM): but it worked with mine

Sushi (7:41:35 PM): Congrats to you.

Science Geek (7:42:13 PM): look at this from my perspective

Science Geek (7:42:24 PM): how can i walk away from this without looking like an absolute asshole?

Science Geek (7:42:29 PM): or feeling like one

Science Geek (7:42:55 PM): because, like you said, you can handle yourself

Sushi (7:43:31 PM): That...is something you'd have to work out with yourself.

Sushi (7:43:37 PM): Which means that...I guess I have my answer.

Science Geek (7:44:28 PM): don't jump to conclusions

Sushi (7:44:36 PM): I'm not.

Sushi (7:44:58 PM): Your question to me was 'how do I walk away without looking like an absolute asshole? or at least feeling like one"

Sushi (7:45:04 PM): Emphasis on 'how do I walk away'

Science Geek (7:45:10 PM): nooo

Science Geek (7:45:13 PM): from this situation

Science Geek (7:45:20 PM): not the relationship, wow no

Science Geek (7:45:30 PM): and by walk away i mean "conclude"

Science Geek (7:45:36 PM): bad phrasing

Sushi (7:45:47 PM): Well then...the fact remains that it's something you'd have to work out for yourself.

Sushi (7:45:55 PM): Except that...you're not an asshole if I want this, Science Geek.

Sushi (7:46:00 PM): You're not an asshole if I'm asking you to do this.

Sushi (7:47:05 PM): God, you're honsetly the last person I could ever even CONSIDER labling an asshole.

Science Geek (7:47:36 PM): ok

Science Geek (7:49:08 PM): i dont see how i can pretend

Sushi (7:49:39 PM): I don't consider it pretending if you're trying.

Sushi (7:50:37 PM): You're the one who told me that it's working for what it is.

Sushi (7:50:57 PM): Which is to say, you having enough of a semblence of interest in me to try.

Science Geek (7:52:03 PM): if you want the truth, i think a better description would be that ive been trying to convince myself i was interested because i know that i should be interested and that i have been interested

Sushi (7:52:34 PM): See, this is where that whole brutal honesty thing might come in.

Science Geek (7:52:48 PM): is that not brutally honest?

Sushi (7:52:57 PM): It is

Sushi (7:53:02 PM): But it would've been useful yesterday.

Science Geek (7:53:28 PM): i needed to think

Sushi (7:54:22 PM): So am I jumping to conclusions if I consider that my answer?

Sushi (7:54:27 PM): Or is this another thing I'm misinterpreting.

Science Geek (7:56:07 PM): you might hate me for this now, but i think you'll end up realizing that it's the right thing for me to do, so i have to say yes

Sushi (7:56:23 PM): ...Okay.

Sushi (7:56:51 PM): I actually have to eat dinner now, and like honestly not like "I'm trying to run away from this conversation so I can be an emobasket and kill myself" or something.

Sushi (7:56:54 PM): But for the record?

Sushi (7:56:56 PM): I don't hate you.

Science Geek (7:57:11 PM): please don't, i want to talk more later

Science Geek (7:57:14 PM): enjoy food

Sushi (7:58:09 PM): (Hey, here's an idea: Maybe now we can talk like we used to for the first time in FOUR FUCKING MONTHS.)

Sushi (7:58:10 PM): Eating now.

Sushi (8:12:27 PM): On the bright side of this evening

Sushi (8:12:40 PM): Pollo Loco managed to not give us charcoal briquettes instead of chicken tonight.

Sushi (8:12:45 PM): Which is a pleasant surprise.

Science Geek (8:12:49 PM): ...

Science Geek (8:13:07 PM): im going to like to imagine that you arent basing that statement off of real events...

Sushi (8:13:59 PM): Well, fine.

Sushi (8:14:15 PM): Not give us chicken resembling/tasting like charcoal briquettes instead of real, well cooked chicken.

Sushi (8:14:16 PM): Better?

Science Geek (8:14:47 PM): ah, phew, well better cooked to a crisp than left raw

Science Geek (8:14:53 PM): salmonella isnt good for business

Sushi (8:15:03 PM): Neither is ash poisoning.

Sushi (8:15:15 PM): ...Which...is probably scientifically incorrect in every way.

Sushi (8:15:21 PM): But I'm a little beyond giving a fuck right now.

Science Geek (8:15:49 PM): if ive never heard of it...

Science Geek (8:15:56 PM): jk, who knows

Science Geek (8:16:02 PM): you ok?

Sushi (8:16:10 PM): Hmm.

Sushi (8:16:12 PM): Define okay.

Science Geek (8:16:19 PM): going to be ok*

Sushi (8:16:25 PM): Haha

Sushi (8:16:28 PM): You know I'll be fine.

Sushi (8:16:33 PM): As callous and uncaring as that sounds.

Science Geek (8:16:43 PM): look

Science Geek (8:16:50 PM): try to understand

Sushi (8:16:55 PM): Science Geek

Sushi (8:17:00 PM): You don't need to explain this to me.

Sushi (8:17:15 PM): Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT

Sushi (8:17:17 PM): A. Retarded

Sushi (8:17:19 PM): B. Unrealistic

Sushi (8:17:32 PM): Despite what my unicorn-related discussions might indicate.

Science Geek (8:17:41 PM): yes

Science Geek (8:17:45 PM): if you had said C. Sane

Science Geek (8:17:50 PM): i mightve had to dispute that

Sushi (8:17:56 PM): Osh.

Science Geek (8:17:58 PM):

Sushi (8:17:58 PM): *Psh

Sushi (8:17:59 PM): Lies.

Sushi (8:18:19 PM): Insanity and irrationality are my true callings in life.

Sushi (8:18:25 PM): As well as other words that start with 'i'

Sushi (8:18:29 PM): Such as...

Sushi (8:18:33 PM): Well, I ran out of I words, actually.

Sushi (8:18:38 PM): But it was a nice train of thought while it lasted.

Science Geek (8:20:04 PM): iguana

Sushi (8:20:09 PM): That.

Sushi (8:20:16 PM): Ironically

Sushi (8:20:19 PM): (OOH! Irony)

Sushi (8:20:27 PM): My friend Brittany calls me Iguana

Sushi (8:20:51 PM): Because of my inability (ooh! Inabilities!) to withstand any temperature below 50 degrees.

Sushi (8:21:25 PM): I call her penguin because I'm convinced she was born with down, making her impervious (hmm...no) to the cold.

Sushi (8:21:32 PM): I'm rambling, aren't I?

Science Geek (8:22:52 PM): down.........'s syndrome?

Sushi (8:23:10 PM): ..............................

Sushi (8:23:11 PM): Yes.

Sushi (8:23:13 PM): That, exactly.

Sushi (8:23:53 PM): Wow, I'm glad you're so good with science. That you were able to make those mental leaps from penguin to down syndrome and how it keeps you warm. Not everyone has that kind of intuition.

Science Geek (8:24:23 PM): ...

Science Geek (8:24:39 PM): i know, these connections, they come with time, experience, and general wisdom

Science Geek (8:24:44 PM): im actually 87

Sushi (8:25:02 PM): Yeah, I figured that out from the naps and the memory loss.

Sushi (8:25:30 PM): I'm sure the reason you wouldn't hold my hand was because you wanted to keep me from discovering your severe case of arthuritis.

Science Geek (8:25:58 PM): figured you wouldve broken a finger off

Sushi (8:26:05 PM): Yeah, that tends to get a bit risky.

Sushi (8:26:15 PM): .............Jesus Christ.

Sushi (8:26:29 PM): How is it that it's only when we break up that we're actually able to talk again?

Science Geek (8:26:47 PM): uh

Science Geek (8:26:53 PM): it takes the pressure off

Science Geek (8:27:03 PM): not that there was much pressure

Science Geek (8:27:06 PM): but you know what i mean

Sushi (8:27:13 PM): Haha, for you maybe.

Science Geek (8:27:26 PM): arg

Science Geek (8:27:33 PM): just because im talking

Science Geek (8:27:37 PM): doesnt mean i dont feel like shit

Sushi (8:27:53 PM): Hey, I'm glad we agree on something.

Science Geek (8:28:16 PM): gah

Science Geek (8:28:36 PM): i have to go attempt to do work

Science Geek (8:28:40 PM): not sure if ill be successful

Sushi (8:29:10 PM): Well, if anything, I take comfort in the fact that this situation is going to yield an interesting Folio entry.

Science Geek (8:31:29 PM): haha, oh man

Science Geek (8:31:32 PM): an anonymous one?

Sushi (8:32:16 PM): Anonymous entries aren't aloud.

Sushi (8:32:27 PM): Have some faith in me, science geek.

Sushi (8:32:43 PM): I know how to protect the innocent.

Science Geek (8:33:31 PM): i have faith

Science Geek (8:33:35 PM): i have to go get some work done

Sushi (8:33:48 PM): Don't let it kill you.

Sushi (8:33:54 PM): Last time I checked, you're still my friend.

Science Geek (8:34:03 PM): this is not changing

Science Geek (8:34:11 PM): ill talk to you later

Sushi (8:34:17 PM): Yeah, later.

Science Geek went away at 8:34:37 PM.
 
------

I didn't love him. I never thought I did. But I truly believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was room for the possibility that one day I could.

By the way, everyone should listen to this song I'm currently playing on repeat, if only because the name is sick (it's also a great song, but who cares about that these days?).
 

Figured posting this would be easier than trying to explain it myself.

And in case you're wondering? No, I'm not fine. Yes, I will be fine. No, I do not wish him any harm (mentally or physically). The following conversation doesn’t change the fact that he’s still one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met and he honestly did the right thing here.

Kthnx. Love you all.

<3

Science Geek (6:54:01 PM): hey

Auto Response from Sushi (6:54:01 PM): Christmas tree springs and domestic activities…

Sushi (6:54:09 PM): Hey, you're alive.

Science Geek (6:54:25 PM): aye, rejuvenated

Sushi (6:54:33 PM): Lucky freaking you.

Science Geek (6:55:45 PM):

Science Geek (6:55:48 PM): what you been up to?

Sushi (6:55:57 PM): Vacuuming.

Sushi (6:55:59 PM): Vaccuming?

Sushi (6:56:03 PM): Vaccuuming?

Sushi (6:56:08 PM): Um...domestic things.

Science Geek (6:56:34 PM): oh wow

Science Geek (6:56:36 PM): how.....fun?

Sushi (6:56:49 PM): How...forced?

Science Geek (6:57:48 PM): well of course

Science Geek (6:58:00 PM): how long has this work been going on?

Sushi (6:58:02 PM): Uh

Sushi (6:58:05 PM): Well

Sushi (6:58:10 PM): Considering the massive square footage that is my house

Sushi (6:58:12 PM): Like ten minutes.

Science Geek (6:58:47 PM): ah, well that's good

Sushi (6:59:14 PM): Haha, yeah.

Sushi (6:59:20 PM): Regardless...

Sushi (7:01:28 PM): Topic at hand, I suppose?

Sushi (7:01:44 PM): At least before moving on to the random disjoint conversation?

Science Geek (7:01:54 PM): ok

Science Geek (7:02:02 PM): go for it

Sushi (7:02:12 PM): Okay, one thing. Honestly.

Sushi (7:02:17 PM): Even though you know you'd be honest anyways.

Sushi (7:02:23 PM): Brutally so, which is what I want.

Sushi (7:02:41 PM): Everything we talked about yesterday

Sushi (7:02:48 PM): Was essentially what I wanted.

Sushi (7:02:59 PM): Do you want to keep trying?

Science Geek (7:04:34 PM): ah

Science Geek (7:04:50 PM): well, it

Sushi (7:04:57 PM): Haha, that's confidence inspiring.

Science Geek (7:05:56 PM): 's frustrating, unbelievably frustrating to try so hard but realize that things just can't be the way they couldve been

Sushi (7:06:15 PM): ...Can I be a bitch?

Sushi (7:06:19 PM): A brutally honest bitch?

Science Geek (7:06:24 PM): yup

Science Geek (7:06:27 PM): feel free

Sushi (7:06:34 PM): I have no idea what's been going on in your head for the past month.

Sushi (7:07:06 PM): But at least what I've been able to observe, which could have nothing to do with your brain and whatever you've been doing in there whatsoever

Sushi (7:07:29 PM): Physically speaking, you haven't really been...trying.

Sushi (7:07:36 PM): And please God correct me if you disagree.

Science Geek (7:07:56 PM): no i dont

Sushi (7:08:06 PM): And it's hard to say this without you misinterpreting me as a clingy lunatic

Sushi (7:08:09 PM): Because I'm really not

Sushi (7:08:53 PM): But really, would it kill you to come talk to me once in a while? I don't know, put an arm around my shoulder, hold my hand, make it look like I'm your girlfriend?

Sushi (7:09:09 PM): I mean, I had to cry before you ever really held my hand, y'know?

Sushi (7:09:22 PM): Not that I'm exactly a warm and fuzzy individual myself

Science Geek (7:09:26 PM): look, ive been detached, i know

Sushi (7:09:34 PM): Considering how I'd trained myself to specifically IGNORE JT at times

Sushi (7:09:40 PM): And now it's kind of an automatic thing

Science Geek (7:09:48 PM): i know, i know

Sushi (7:09:57 PM): And obviously it's not about PDA

Sushi (7:10:02 PM): Because you'll make out with me at Paseo

Sushi (7:10:23 PM): And it's not like I'm asking for Conner and Nicole status humping in class status shit

Sushi (7:10:33 PM): Which is ENTIRELY uncomfortable in every way, shape, and form.

Sushi (7:10:48 PM): It's just...as far as I can tell, any trying you've been doing has been purely mental

Sushi (7:11:29 PM): And not that mental effort isn't necessary (in excess, in this case)

Sushi (7:11:44 PM): But physical sometimes does help.

Science Geek (7:13:37 PM): i realize this, but i feel i'd be lying to you. i mean, when im feeling that there are certainly problems, where's the boundary? I don't want to hurt you.

Sushi (7:13:56 PM): Science Geek, honestly.

Sushi (7:13:59 PM): I can handle myself.

Sushi (7:14:08 PM): I cry a lot, but that's just how my brain/body works.

Sushi (7:15:02 PM): And if you feel there are certainly problems, you actually like...can talk to me about them.

Sushi (7:15:18 PM): But seriously, it's not like either of us is looking for something that would last forever.

Sushi (7:15:27 PM): Honestly, this is anything but, and that was always clear from the beginning.

Sushi (7:17:20 PM): So if it's working but not to the fullest, I can live with that. If you happen to remember why it was you liked me and can somehow remove that mental block against me, then that's fantastic. I'm glad. And if not? I'm not going to fall apart because you somehow don't like me as much as anyone thinks you "should".

Sushi (7:17:40 PM): Look, I want this.

Sushi (7:17:43 PM): I honestly do.

Sushi (7:17:48 PM): I will deal with the consequences when they come.

Sushi (7:18:00 PM): But I'm not going to tell you "We are staying together" definitively

Sushi (7:18:02 PM): If it's not what you want.

Sushi (7:18:58 PM): Because if you want to but don't want to get all "serious" or whatever the hell the proper term for this would be here, then I can do it. I can. And I can handle myself if it ends up hurting me. You need to understand this.

Sushi (7:19:11 PM): But if you do not want this relationship in any form...

Sushi (7:19:21 PM): There's nothing I can do about that.

Science Geek (7:21:40 PM): it kills me to know how much i liked you and then to realize that it just hasn't been clicking

Sushi (7:22:27 PM): Because you're worried about me, or because you're internally tormented by it and can't handle said inner turmoil?

Sushi (7:22:32 PM): Because I can deal with the first one.

Sushi (7:22:42 PM): Believe me, I lived through J fucking T. I'm resiliant.

Sushi (7:22:52 PM): But if it's the latter

Science Geek (7:22:56 PM): but this one's me

Sushi (7:23:02 PM): You need to figure out whether or not you can deal with it.

Science Geek (7:23:16 PM): i know

Sushi (7:24:30 PM): Okay, a question

Sushi (7:25:01 PM): Do you think the reason we're not clicking is because you spent a month and a half equating my name with the word NO, or because we honestly just don't work?

Sushi (7:25:11 PM): Because I remember summer.

Sushi (7:25:17 PM): And I remember it working.

Sushi (7:25:30 PM): But that's entirely my opinion.

Sushi (7:25:33 PM): I can't speak for you.

Science Geek (7:25:43 PM): it worked, no doubt, but things change

Science Geek (7:25:51 PM): and in response to your question

Science Geek (7:26:06 PM): you can't underestimate what the former did, because it made things change

Sushi (7:26:19 PM): I'm not underestimating it, believe me.

Sushi (7:26:32 PM): If anything, I've learned to never again doubt willpower.

Sushi (7:26:47 PM): Because I do it a lot.

Sushi (7:27:08 PM): But can you actually tell me how it made things change?

Sushi (7:27:13 PM): Or is it one of those indescribable things

Sushi (7:27:16 PM): Like shrooms?

Science Geek (7:27:46 PM): haha, nice comparision

Sushi (7:27:56 PM): Yes, well.

Sushi (7:27:59 PM): Master of words and all that.

Sushi (7:28:04 PM): When it's not on UC apps.

Science Geek (7:28:20 PM): it's a chemical thing Sushi, that's what "liking someone" is

Science Geek (7:28:28 PM): so yea, i guess in a twisted way it's just like shrooms

Sushi (7:28:30 PM): Ohhhh don't get all sciencey on me.

Science Geek (7:28:50 PM): it's not sciencey

Sushi (7:29:00 PM): You do realize

Science Geek (7:29:03 PM): it's just the simplest answer

Sushi (7:29:08 PM): That given that we DO break up because of this

Sushi (7:29:12 PM): You WILL end up liking me again

Sushi (7:29:16 PM): Based on this pattern we've established?

Science Geek (7:29:25 PM): nuh uh

Sushi (7:29:37 PM): (It was a joke, seriouspants)

Science Geek (7:29:42 PM):

Science Geek (7:29:48 PM): the whole IM internet tone dealio

Science Geek (7:29:56 PM): im still not a professional

Sushi (7:30:13 PM): Yeeeaaaah, like when you thought I was serious when I said humans were the superior species because we have opposable thumbs

Sushi (7:30:16 PM): And you flipped a bitch on me.

Science Geek (7:30:51 PM): psh, you cant feed me stuff like that and expect me to sit still

Science Geek (7:30:57 PM): but back to conversation

Sushi (7:31:17 PM): You can't take shit like that SERIOUSLY, or else you'd have to file me into the 'too stupid to live' catagory.

Sushi (7:31:24 PM): Like, by default.

Sushi (7:31:26 PM): But yes, conversation.

Science Geek (7:32:02 PM): haha, but you can't NOT take it at least a little seriously either else be filed in the "asshole" category

Science Geek (7:32:09 PM): else*

Sushi (7:32:20 PM): Except NOT AT ALL, because anyone who says something like that should be SHOT.

Sushi (7:32:26 PM): *something like that seriously

Science Geek (7:32:36 PM): haha, ookkkk

Sushi (7:32:42 PM): XD

Sushi (7:32:43 PM): Sorry.

Sushi (7:32:45 PM): Had to fight that point.

Science Geek (7:32:47 PM): where were we?

Sushi (7:32:48 PM): Anyways.

Science Geek (7:32:49 PM): lol

Sushi (7:32:51 PM): Okay, I want you to be able to deal with your personal inner turmoil or whatever. I really, really do.

Sushi (7:32:58 PM): But basically

Sushi (7:33:01 PM): I can't make that decision FOR you.

Sushi (7:33:40 PM): There is no way I can possibly say, "Science Geek, we ARE continuing this because I want to," and expect you to go along with it just because I happened to cry and you felt bad for me.

On November 21, a movie called Twilight will be hitting theaters, causing teenage girls everywhere to swoon and faint dramatically in the face of a sparkly skinned vampire novel brought to life. Unfortunately, my expectations for said movie will be less than stellar, to say the least, considering the surge of physical revulsion I feel every time the book upon which it is based is even mentioned in conversation. That’s right everyone, there’s probably nothing I hate more in the world than the Twilight series.

Still with me?

To summarize (and if you’re a fangirl, to make your pain brief), the entire novel is like a terribly written fanfiction that Stephanie Meyers somehow managed to blackmail a publisher into mass producing (and I know my bad fanfiction, believe me). But the problem is that my words will never be enough to convince anyone of this fact, so I have chosen to extract some quotes from the text of the novel in hopes of explicitly demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that Twilight puts use of the English language to shame and should be burned on principle.

1.       “He is unbelievably gorgeous.”

“There’s a lot more to him than that.”

Are you sure, Bella-kins? Because last time I checked, approximately 200 of the 498 pages that make up this heaping pile of word vomit are comprised entirely of you describing Edward Cullen’s perfect physic, facial structure, eyes, smell, skin, fingernails, elbows, pinky toes and all other things that can possibly be elaborated on to the point where it probably would’ve been easier to just put in a picture of him on every other page rather than allowing for a “three adjectives to every one time Edward is mentioned” ratio.

2.       “Do I dazzle you?”

No, Edward. No you do not. Rather, you make me vomit a little bit inside. See, I like my guys with something along the lines of oh, I don’t know, personality. From what I can see, all you have going for you is a blinding hotness that would probably just make me feel inferior to you anyways. Honestly, you shouldn’t really dazzle anyone with half a brain because everything you say feels like something out of an Instant Romance Phrase Generator (I’m sure there are plenty around the internet – hey Meyers, can you recommend a good one?) and there’s not a semblance of emotion behind anything you say.

3.       “I’m not quite that delicate.”

But you are, Bella. You really and truly are. It seems that as the story progresses, you go from fatally natural klutz (which I still fail to find endearing) to basically not being able to breathe without your beloved Edward’s assistance. I really don’t understand how you get up in the morning without him by your side…oh wait.

4.       “I wouldn’t want you to think I’m naturally a tyrant.”

Edward, sweetheart, when you habitually watch someone sleep without them knowing about it, you kind of completely lose the right to say anything about whether or not you are a tyrant. You are not just a tyrant, you are a creepy, stalking tyrant, and if I ever find you in my room I will put a stake through your heart so fast you won’t even have time to dazzle me with your sparkling skin in the sunlight.

5.       “I love you.”

“You are my life now.”

Dear God, a question to anyone who’s read this book: these two have known each other for how long? And no matter how long they’ve known each other, someone being anyone else’s entire life is nothing short of pants-on-head retarded. Now there’s a relationship bound for a mountain of problem in the future (and I don’t mean vampire issues). Except that oh wait, I forgot that Meyers doesn’t believe in reality. Still, it’s a revolting display of general stupidity and even an utterly hopeless romantic such as myself experiences a knee-jerk reaction at the sight of it.

These are only a select few of the reasons my soul dies a little more every time this book is mentioned to me, because unfortunately I have a limited amount of space with which to prove my distaste valid. Still, I feel that there are a few things left to be said on the matter:

Look, I understand if you like the Twilight series. There’s nothing wrong with a guilty pleasure or two. This opinion piece is simply that – my opinion. To each his (her?) own; I get that. But people need to realize that there’s a considerable difference between things that you like and things that are good. Believe me when I say that I’m the poster-girl for loving things that are terrible – teenage mermaid television shows? The current comics featuring Perez/Wolfman era Titans? Both are atrocious at best, but I’m still a fan. The important thing is that I can admit when something is bad, even as I continue to tune in for a new episode every week or buy a new issue every month. But if someone even tries to point out a flaw in one of the Twilight books, it’s like the Meyer Militia vaults from the shadows, out for your blood (oh look, a pun) for insulting the. Most. Amazing. Book. Evar.

Please.

What I’m trying to get across is this: Twilight is not well written, the characters do not have anything even resembling personalities, it is entirely devoid of a legitimate plot, and if you want to go the ‘Edward and Bella’s relationship is the plot!’ route, then it should probably be known that there’s more chemistry between me and my copy of Pokemon Crystal than the two main characters of this novel. These are the facts, do with them what you will.

And you can go ahead and tell me that the only way I can fully appreciate Twilight is to read all the books that follow it, that it’ll get better as I go along, that basing my opinion of the entire series on Stephanie Meyer’s first attempt at novel writing is biased and unfair, but I probably won’t listen. The fact remains that I’d rather gouge out my own eyes with Edward’s sparkly vampire teeth than touch anything related to the Twilight series ever again (yeah, yeah, I know it’s just his creamy marble skin that sparkles like a thousand diamonds in the shimmering sun that accentuates the dramatic depth to his eyes and the statuesque perfection of his being or whatever, not his breathtaking and obscenely, beautifully white teeth. I. Still. Don’t. Care).

What the fuck.

No, seriously? What the FUCK.

I just got ultimatum-ed by my best friend.

Eli, if you're reading this (and I know you are/will at some point), I now know exactly how you felt at the beginning of summer.

I had two options: Either hold onto the hope that he'd get over himself and ask me out (because that's worked out SO well for me over the last two years), or tell him to get over me, in which case he'd never what to speak to me again.

I was so pissed off, I told him to fuck himself and his ultimatum, in which case he ende up calling me and apologizing when he realized he couldn't just...keep me that way.

I'm so fucking pissed/confused/crazypants right now. Like, you don't even know.

Fuck this, and fuck stupid fucking high school fucking drama.

On the plus side, the Rose Ball last night was surprisingly really fun, even though the dance floor was essentially a highly concentraded cest pool of sweat. Oh, me freaking with Pantalones. Oh, Ireland freaking with Pantalones. Oh, Ireland and I both freaking with Pantalones at the same time, so Pantalones totally looked like a pimp.

Oh, fun.

Apparently the afterparty wasn't much to speak of, so I'm glad I didn't go. I was too tired anyways.